Do we all sing from the same songsheet?

My reflections from a recent game might strike a chord with some of you.
I've used fictitious names to protect the innocent (ho! ho!)

So, "Alma" the away side, are playing against the "Old Boys" (home) with
the game being evenly balanced at 1-1 after 75 minutes. A penalty
awarded in the 7th minute for handball was well converted (with no
contesting which is nice to say). In the rainy and muddy conditions my
issue was determining where the 'D' was to ensure players stayed the
required distance from the penalty kick.

A worthy equaliser rattled the net from a long distance shot.

When the Old Boys sneaked a 2-1 lead the tempo understandably picked up
for the last 15 minutes. An Alma player who had found it his whim to
whine at most of my decisions was in the goalmouth as one of his side's
attacks broke down. As the goalkeeper went to clear the ball, he tripped
him petulantly. I was back peddling to the centre circle, but caught the
trip and blew the whistle and summoned the player. "Oh you couldn't wait
to do that could you" he said. I resisted the "you bet" reply and showed
him the yellow card. Two minutes later as another Alma attack broke down
and the Old Boy's fullback tried to bring the ball away. His legs were
scythed away by an Alma midfielder whose frustrations had got the better
of him. Apart from a surprise as to why I gave the free kick, he was
wary at giving me his name. It was a false name as I (sadly knowing him
from a sending off incident a season earlier when he had broken an
opponent's leg with a high tackle). I asked him if the name he gave me
was the one he wanted me to write down; The softer side of me, giving
him the chance to change his mind. He didn't and as such I wrote down
the name he offered.

In the 85th minute the yellow card came out again, this time for the Old
Boy's skipper. He had committed a foul and instead of backing away from
the kick, decided to "linger" around thus wasting time. As the Alma
player attempted to take a quick kick the skipper stuck out a leg
stopping the flow of the ball. Obviously regarded as a worthwhile cost
assuming the three points were soon to be in the bag.

As the game went into the last minute a through ball chased by an Alma
forward saw the Old Boy's keeper come quickly off his line to retrieve
the ball. However the Alma forward, the first of my bookings started to
claim that the ball and goalkeeper, were outside the penalty are. As I
tracked the game, I too agreed to this and blew my whistle indicating
that it was handball, to which the forward was grabbing the ball away
from the keeper whilst others shouted that I couldn't let the keeper get
away with that.
I calmly told Alma to wait for the whistle and told the Old Boy's
defenders to retreat away from where the incident happened. Meanwhile
the forward (yes the player I first booked) had taken the ball back five
yards from the place where the hand ball occurred and proceeded to chip
the ball into the goal, celebrating thereafter. I ignored this and then
proceeded to walk around the defensive wall calling the goalkeeper over
to me. In asking for his name I advised him that he was being sent off
for intentional handball in an incident that was 'possibly' a
goal-scoring chance. He was very apologetic claiming that he did not
realise that he was outside the penalty area. This was the same penalty
area, which in the first half had a very faint 'D' and to be honest I
sympathised with the keeper's comments, but felt the letter of the law
had to prevail and reluctantly produced the red card against the keeper.
The pursuing kick was floated over the bar and I then blew for full
time.

The teams were fired up and the whistle followed with some heated
exchanges from a couple of players, but nothing prolonged. My 'friend'
whose name I had taken then asked if we could have a "man to man"
conversation. I nodded as we headed for the changing rooms and he
proceeded to advise me that he could take a free kick whenever he wanted
and that he'd seen it in the TV and the rules said he was right. I
managed to get a word in to say that they were laws not rules and that
he needed to wait till I blew a whistle or at least ask me if he could
take an early kick. There was no middle ground and as he became more
heated, I thought it best to suggest we stop there before he says
something he might regret. I mentioned to the friendly Alma linesman
that if the 2nd player I had cautioned came and told me his real name I
would put it through, otherwise would note in my report that it was a
wrong name. The player did come to my dressing room to do this, but it
would appear his reasoning for giving a false name was because he was on
a ban!

What a lovely day out.

Mike Taylor

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